to no fucking end will i ever stop feeling like i went on a ghost kill
sitting here a miserable cunt having a nervous breakdown
splitting my skull on the wall trying to exorcise your demon
i should know better by now not to chase the pretty ones.
all the pretty ones have the highest damage.
all the damaged ones are the prettiest ones my sorest eyes are set upon
swearing like a fucking sailor, drinking like a lifeless bar rat
to no fucking end will i never be embarassed i went on a ghost kill
laying her a miserable cunt trying to rip my jaw out
tearing at my eye socket so i dont have to see you anymore
i should know my stomach is a hangmen's noose
all the hangmen's noose will let me slip on down and snap me straight
all the straightening will kill off my embarassment
cursing like a heretic priest, swilling like a shame ridden iron worker
lady im not ashamed of what i did. im just fucking embarassed.
lady im not afraid of what i can do, im just fucking embarassed.
lady im now ashamed of what ill do. im just fucking embarassed.
lady im now afraid of what we will do. im just fucking embarassed.
and these hangmen's knots arent going to untie themselves anytime soon.
im fucking embarassed.

it makes more sense to be here than anywhere else in the world.
where i can be away from social woes and suffocating folkways.
to quest. to avoid. to search. to isolate.
the leash is getting shorter, so is life.
i cant climb walls like i used to.
guess all i can do is keep paddling for that next ride.
pushing off for that next long coast.
its all i got left inside of me.

i talk to the deaf.
i write to the blind.
i move for the marionettes.
i walk for the paralyzed.
i can give, but will never be given anything back.

forever fucked to walk alone.
forever fucked to love and never be loved.

i am more dead than i am alive sitting here behind the glass.
i can only find joy in bringing those ears sorrow.
i can only find my happiness in making others miserable.
sometimes you have to piss on everyone else just to make your own ends meet.
and whats really wrong with that?