when i put on the song "descent" by neurosis. there is a swell in my soul that comes alive and brings me to think of the greatest times in my life this year. that same song carries me to a place that i cant see myself ever leaving, calling me to come back and holding the bait above my head fully knowing they have something i want and need. i put that song on and i see a picture of a man in the doorway asking for peace and to be left alone with blood on his hands and his sword. i put that song on tonight, and i felt my fists close and my eyes widen and harden. i felt like that man in the doorway. i acknowledged the enlightenment and change that came with being a vagrant. i found peace. i lost my conduit between here and there. i molted from east to west completely. that was 5 months ago.

 "There is no one in this place but me, and I am waiting to give this
  jewel to the prudent captain who will leave me in peace."

its 5 months later from when i first came the wrong way. i am still the man in the doorway and far away from where my physical body is. no new blood on my hands, but i am moving farther and farther away.

leave me in peace. just dont leave me alone.

   He showed the ruby, glistening in the hollow of his hand like a great
  drop of blood.