reached a new low, reached a new level.
this is my finest art. and my filthiest pen ive ever rolled in.
swine and artist. loved and loathed.

DESCENT

i am restless as the winds that make the swell i lose myself in.
5am is only 2am to me, knowing i am only wide awake on california time
there is nothing endless here, nothing to remember, nothing sacred.
i want to stay distracted so i dont know where i am
so i dont time travel to a better place and forget that i have to come back
it will do me no good if i do any of that. and at this time last year, i forgot you. all of you.
sand carried me north and south, mother ocean east and west.
they let me forget and forgive for once.
for days i wasnt part of the human race, society, or the sadness you carry
thats all i have left to live for. one way or another.
i wont be part of your race, society, or sadness.

i need to calm my ass down on the women. scatterbrained and going insane.

i cannot be a cellar dweller.
i have to leave some things behind.
there is only so much i can bring along.
there is alot i want to bring along.
i cannot be a cellar dweller.
i have to forget some things behind.
there is only so much i can trust in care of people.
there is alot i can never leave in people's hands.
i cannot be a cellar dweller.
there is so much that i cannot put away.

im not sure if the bastard is speaking to me, or the gentleman is.
both of them came out today.
a gentleman, and a bastard.
this is what i am.

screaming to the songs i know that lets me know im not the only one alone in this world.
theyre stage demons and props to you, theyre friends and fellow banshees to me.
screaming to the songs i know that lets me know im not the only one alone in this world.
theres nothing better to me when that therapy hits me and puts it all away.