theres no cure for being homesick.
theres no cure for the people you hold high that are now the lowest.
theres no cure for the things you find when you are away from the place that misplaces you.
theres no place like home.

california, sing me home. bring me home. comfort me when i come home.

i dont know whats going to happen next. im not sure what im thinking or feeling. i still feel the same way i felt leaving home and fulfilling my drifters soul. i still feel like im not really part of anything. but its weird because after the election, i felt that was all going to change about me with how monumental the change was. that i could be part of something that wasnt threatening or corrupt. that i could sleep easy in my own bed. i feel like im losing a very large part of myself and that i have no reason to be on edge. as much as ive witness another version of the 80s happening, and was able to be part of a counterculture, i dont want to lose any of that. being punk at 25 is very much different than at 18. i still put those songs on, and i still feel the same things i felt when i first heard those songs or think the same things, but i dont know if im imagining things or im closing off a circle. i dont want to ever lose what ive found about myself. at home or otherwise. i dont want to lose myself. and i feel being as idle as i am, i am losing myself. i think thats what im more afraid of as my biological number increases. losing whats been important to me. i dont want to sit idley by and wait for something to happen. but i dont want to force something to happen. either way im going to be eating shit because the world moves forward and im going along with it.